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| Articles » The Power of Listening |
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The Power of Listening |
| by Sally Stanleigh |
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| There seems to be a growing realization of the importance of solid
listening and communication
skills in business. After all, lack of attention and respectful
listening can be costly - leading to mistakes, poor service, misaligned
goals, wasted time and lack of teamwork. |
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| You can’t sell unless you understand your customer’s
problem; you can’t manage unless you understand your employee’s
motivation; and you can’t gain team consensus unless you understand
each team member’s feelings about the issue at hand; and you
can’t resolve
conflicts without understanding each employee’s feelings.
In all of these cases, you must listen to others. |
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| Listening,
really listening, is a truly demanding and complex activity, which
offers the listener an opportunity for growth. When we truly listen
to someone, when we hear not only the words, but also their importance
to the speaker on an emotional level, we are transformed. By reflecting
on another’s words, we come face-to-face with whom we are, and
the assumptions and judgments we bring with us. |
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By listening in a way that demonstrates
understanding and respect, you cause rapport to develop, and that
is the true foundation from which you can sell, manage or influence
others. |
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| "I like to listen. I have
learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never
listen." |
- Ernest Hemingway |
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| Following are some keys to listening
well: |
- Give 100% Attention: Prove you care by suspending all other
activities.
- Respond: Responses can be both verbal and nonverbal (nods,
expressing interest) but must prove you received the message,
and more importantly, prove it had an impact on you. Speak at
approximately the same energy level as the other person...then
they’ll know they really got through and don’t have
to keep repeating.
- Prove understanding: To say "I understand" is not
enough. People need some sort of evidence or proof of understanding.
Prove your understanding by occasionally restating the gist of
their idea or by asking a question, which proves you know the
main idea. The important point is not to repeat what they’ve
said to prove you were listening, but to prove you understand.
The difference in these two intentions, transmit remarkably different
messages when you are communicating.
- Prove respect: Prove you take other views seriously. It seldom
helps to tell people, "I appreciate your position" or
"I know how you feel." You have to prove it by being
willing to communicate with others at their level of understanding
and attitude. We do this naturally by adjusting our tone of vice,
rate of speech and choice of words to show that we are trying
to imagine being where they are at the moment.
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| "I think one lesson I have
learned is that there is no substitute for paying attention."
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- Diane Sawyer |
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| Listening to and acknowledging other people may seem
deceptively simple, but doing it well, particularly when disagreements
arise, takes true talent. As with any skill, listening well takes
plenty of practice. When we listen, we find that, in the end, it is
we who change. It is we who benefit from the opportunity to better
understand the needs of those with whom we are interacting and in
this way establish a meaningful connection. |
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